Day 10 -(Writing 31 Days Project) Here’s The Thing- Winning People Over….
It truly never occurred to me that people did not think like me. Here’s the thing. Over the years, I simply thought that everyone had the thoughts and feelings that I had. Many times I would say this or that and a person would agree. I was resolute in the fact that each person who agreed truly agreed.
As a public school teacher when I met with parents who did not agree with me, I would always come away with the thought like, “Gee, I just don’t see how that mother or father or both could see the situation that way”.
Truly, we are all different people coming from various backgrounds and having a multitude of experiences. All of that makes us who we are so here’s the thing- We don’t all see eye to eye on every event but the great communicator, Dale Carnegie says there are ways to get others to come over to your way of thinking and here were his suggestions. Hey, I put my comments under each one:
• The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
This makes perfect sense to me. If you don’t get into an argument there will be no winning or losing of it. This is very hard but I’m going to work on this and try to not be forced to “get the best of” one.
• Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong.”
I know this is true. The worst way to lose someone is to tell a person he’s wrong. And, showing respect for other people’s thinking is very important.
• If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Admitting that you’re wrong takes a strong personality and because one is willing to do this quickly and emphatically, it clears the room of any concern.
• Begin in a friendly way.
Beginnings are important and whether it’s beginning the morning at home, beginning a day’s work or beginning a project. To begin in a friendly way is such a positive way in which to start any event.
• Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.
“Yes” is such a positive approach to getting things done. Carnegie is on top of things here. He knew that beginning with the positive approach would “set the tone” for the rest of the discussions.
• Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Some people love to hear themselves talk. Talking allows a person to feel emboldened and powerful. If you want to get someone to think as you do, you can lead conversation and then allow them to bloviate.
• Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
Who cares who gets the credit if the idea is good and works. They say that the Apple computer guru, Steve Jobs used to talk with people, tell them their ideas were bad and then walk away to return the next day and rephrase the idea calling it his own thoughts. Hummmmm…
• Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
As I said earlier, when someone disagrees with my thoughts I’m always so surprised about it but after reading “
- How to Win Friends and Influence People”,
Did you notice how I tried to see things from Carnegie’s point of view? Ha! I can see the value of trying to see things from others’ perspective.
• Dramatize your ideas-
Well this won’t be difficult. Since I think a lot of my ideas are great ones, I should have no problem “dramatizing” them. Woo hoo. This idea seems fun!
So, Here’s the thing…Being genuine seems to be important in trying to work and deal with others. Letting them be important and even highlighting your own ideas with zeal and excitement is important as well.
Forward everyone!~
Josie