Winning Friends- Influencing People

One of the recent articles linked to Yahoo.com was, ” 7 Signs People Dislike You”. I thought that pretty tough to read. Here were the signs:1. The Way They Look At You, 2. Always Blamed, 3. Gossip 4. Always Left Out 5. Last Man Out 6. Things are Accidentally Broken 7. People Stare. (Note: No one put their name to this article, by the way! ) Ha!

Wow! After reading the article, I thought about Dale Carnegie, the absolute optimist and his book “How To Win Friends and Influence People”.

Here were his suggestions as submitted on Yahoo Answers by slsmhu:

How To Win Friends and Influence People:

Part One

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Part Two

Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Part Three

Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.
Part Four

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

I think I’ll go with the Yahoo “Answers” article and try to win friends and influence people instead of worrying about why or if others like me. I would rather have some part in “if” people like me than to figure out why one might not.

We definitely CAN have an impact on others based on our own behavior so let’s all work to do our part! Right?

Josie