Considering Everyone’s Needs

Have you ever said “yes” when you really needed to say “no”? It may have been something simple, but you regretted your decision afterwards. You realize after saying yes that only disorder was going to come from the decision. But, at the time you thought the person would think you were a “drag” on the situation and so you caved and said “yes” when you should have said no.

We’ve probably all done this at one time or another and it’s very frustrating to be on the yes side and to be on the side of the person whom you said yes to when it should have been NO!

But, what a drag saying “no” can be and so often I need to say the words “no” but end up trying to be superwoman and say yes to too many.

In thinking of of successful people, I think of “yes” people. “Yes” is a simple word that can open doors to so many opportunities. How are we ever to fulfill our potential without the “yes” attitude? I mean, come on! “Yes! I can do it!” “Yes, let’s do it together!” “Yes! Let’s do it!” “No, I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Opportunities seem as if they are everything and everywhere. To achieve results and make a difference in this world it just seems we have to be “yes” people. For example: “Yes, it can be done.” “Yes, I will be there to help.” “Yes, lets find the solution together.” All of those are examples of a person who is engaged in the business of moving themselves and another person forward.

The problem is that each of us have only so many hours, minutes and seconds in a day. Therein lies the problem. If we’re too busy, we cannot say yes and do a good job. We just can’t.

Fortunately, we can say “no” and “yes” at the same time. Refusing a request but offering an alternative that will benefit both of you is always a good solution. Sometimes giving yourself time to think without responding right away will avoid conflict. For example, when someone asks for your help, time or effort, you might respond by saying: “Let me look at my calendar” or “I’m not sure how I can help but I will think on it and get back with you”. The point is to reach a agreement and offer assistance in some way and maybe not always with the first requested action. It is similar to negotiating for all parties to agree to a solution.

Building a reputation is important. Being approachable and trustworthy is of utmost importance. Being willing to take on the additional work when needed and your willingness and support in situations will be the reputation that precedes you. Carefully considering your commitment and evaluating your workload is important so that you can do what you have committed to doing.

It is unrealistic to say “yes” to everything. It is miserable to say “no” all the time too and especially if you tend to lean towards those three letters- “Y E S”. To meet the needs of everyone involved, it will be important to be strategic in selecting decisions. Set yourself and the one who requested your help up for success. In other words, if you cannot say yes to everything asked of you, then say “yes” to some small part or something that you can do at home, online or in-kind. Make “let me think about it” your default answer. Find a common ground to be able to say “yes”

Consider Everyone’s Needs

My parents are “yes” people. If the opportunity presents itself to both of them, it’s a green light. They are doers which has lead me to follow suit. I try my best to keep parties in agreement and make things happen. Satisfaction for all parties is often my weakness because as they say, “You can’t make everyone happy”. However, learning to pause before saying “yes” has been a lesson for me to learn.  It’s a work in progress. Saying “no” without a solution to help makes one come across as a no help person. I want to help. I don’t want to give the impression I don’t care but at the same time, I’ve learned that I must be thoughtful about my “yes” answers so that I can do the job and do a good job at what I take on.

Day by day, I am realizing that in life, trust and communication are so very important. I want to be trusted and I want my words to be true so I’m learning that I must sometimes say “No”. Although there is no guarantee that “yes” will lead me to great success, I’m seeing that sometimes saying “no” will provide opportunities for me to maximize the times that I say “yes”.

By my carefully saying “yes”, it Allows both parties to win and in the long run bring about a much better outcome.