The 2nd Thing You Can’t Change About Yourself is Your Parents



Write 31 Days-  Day 9

The 2nd thing you cannot change about yourself is: Your Parents

“The Lord said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, since Abraham will surely become a great and mighty nation, and in him all the nations of the earth will be blessed? “For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him.”” (Genesis 18:17–19)

10 Things You Can’t Change About Yourself

When it was announced that Prince William of Windsor fame was to marry commoner Catherine Middleton of the village, Chapel Row in the UK, I booked flights for both of my children and myself so that we could celebrate the wedding of the royal couple. Our trip took us to London where it appeared the entire city was filled with excitement about the Westminster Abbey wedding on April 29, 2011. We stayed in a hotel just outside of the area and went to many of the celebrating events held in London. Watching with interest the preparations being made, we found ourselves a part of this historic event. Press boxes were built, and roads were lined with guard rails.  Dirt was delivered for the streets where horses would prance pulling along the carriages of the royal family.   We watched church decorations being taken into the Abbey, choir boys running to and for preparing for rehearsal, and coachmen practicing with their carriages. All week long, the gates of Buckingham Palace were flung open time and time again bringing about regalia for such a grand event as a royal wedding. It was certainly thrilling and a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Here were two people who had met on the University of St. Andrews campus and now they would be a united in Holy Matrimony. One of royal blood raised by parents with strict rules of etiquette and the other, common parents without constraint of any kind and relatively unknown. Neither the bride-to-be nor Prince William chose their parents and yet the impact of who their parents were made all the difference in their upbringing, actions, behaviors, financial status and more. William was born into the Windsor family where his grandmother served and currently still sits on the throne of England as “Her Majesty The Queen”. Catherine’s parents were of the working class owning an online party business.

William’s grandmother has ruled longer than any Monarch in British history since her accession in 1952. The Duke of Cambridge, [Prince William] recently said ‘I am privileged to have The Queen as a model for a life of service to the public…all of us who will inherit the legacy of my grandmother’s reign and generation need to do all we can to celebrate and learn from her story”. William, His Royal Highness Prince of Wales, did nothing to be a part of her legacy. He had no say in whom his parents would be. There is nothing that he did to be born into the union of Prince Charles, his father and Princess Diana, his mother. He had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that his grandmother has served as the longest reigning monarch in the Kingdom of Great Britain seeing over 65 years. It was all of God and His Grace. As a result of God’s choice for his and her parents, both came into their marriage with different points of view and will in turn raise their children based on their experiences.

Parents act and react to parenting in different and various ways. For example, indicates that Eli, a High Priest of Shiloh was a permissive father whose sons became “scoundrels and had no regard for the Lord”. 1 Sam 2:22-25, 1 Sam 3:13

In a similar situation, Hannah’s son Samuel was such a poor example of a father that God did not choose any of his sons to follow as a prophet. They took bribes and did not promote justice. They could not serve although their father was a trusted man of God.

Most of us know of the great King David who was known as a strong-willed father but an absent in his role. His first born was a rapist, his second sought his throne, his 4th went against the will of God, his 7th violated the very laws of God including worshipping idols. Deut 17:14-20
In the area of dads who were honorable, we read in the Holy Scripture of Jonadab, a respectful man of God whose children obeyed him. He was faithful in his mission as a father wanting to destroy those who were wicked. God blessed his lineage because he was obedient to Him as the eternal covenant (Jer 35:18-19)

While Job had many trials and tribulations, he prayed for his children and hoped for their eternal security. We learn in the book of Job that his children celebrated burnt offerings with their father.

According to online reports Yu Youzhen, a millionaire mother, awakes daily at 3 a.m. six days a week to sweep streets in China. Since 1998, the South China Morning Post reported that though she owns some 17 properties making her wealthy, she has determined that she would keep her job with the Wuchange District Chengguan Bureau Cleaning Team in order to teach her children the value of not being lazy.

Your Parent’s Were/Are Unique

No person has anything to do with the parents in which they are born or similarly adopted into a family. God and His sovereignty reigns. Not only are each of us unique and unusually different one from another but our birth parents or in some cases, adoptive parents unique and different as well. Tasks have been assigned through the ages specifically by God for a reason and a purpose known unto Him.

Birth is prescribed by God and to whom He chose to give birth is in His sovereign will where he has set forth a purpose and a reason for a person’s being. No one can change the fact of being born from the union of two people. It takes the egg of a woman and the sperm of a man to create according to God’s plan. The reason it matters is because the union of two people in whatever manner a child was born creating a human being that has certain traits, skin tone, eye and hair color as well as DNA specific to that union. No one can change who their parents are and because of that union much of who they are will result from the traits set forth. Human beings pass on eye color, hair color, height, skin color, body structure and more.
Both of my grandparents had blue eyes. Both of my parents had blue eyes. All of their children have blue eyes. Our parents determine much of what we look like, our body structure, our personality traits and more.  Parents are the structure for our lives and God sets this forth.

God in His wisdom and our parents and their DNA create who we are. Our chromosomes are passed down from previous generations creating characteristics of our family traits. The good majority of people have 23 chromosomes, for a total of 46 chromosomes.

From the beginning, man and woman sinned before a perfect God and He in His wisdom worked through them to do His will. Nothing has changed in that man is still sinful but God is still Sovereign and He has made a way for man to overcome his sin and to put trust in the Almighty.

Moreover the law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound:  That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 5:20

The unique relationship of a parent to a child is really inexplainable. People who talk about children before having them and after have them have a totally different view.

My paternal grandfather was an orphan. His mother died when he was young and his father passed when he was about eleven years old. That left him to stay with his single elder brother, Brooke spending time in the back of the brother’s unseemly workplace. At some point, an older sister took him in and raised him as her own. Why would that kind of thing be of importance in terms of one’s life, life skills, self worth, self esteem, wonderings and more? Having lost both parents at a young age seemed harsh but God in His wisdom made a way for my grandfather. While he had the traits, characteristics and DNA record of his own parents, he then experienced life in the home of another family member giving him a new view that he would not have had. It does not though change the fact that he had his own parents who gave him generational genes.

Parents give value to life and attitudes towards children.  For years, I’ve been following a family on Facebook. I knew the father when I taught years ago and at that time, it was always touching to see his attentiveness to his two young children. Neither of his kids were in my classroom but the observable behaviors of love was obvious to see in the devotion of this parent towards his children and family . Now with Facebook, a large part of his life came alive as he posted events and photographs of his family and things they shared.

It was as if his complete and I mean complete life was wrapped in his family. From faith events to social and sporting events, this family spent serious time working in an effort to make a difference to each other and to people in their circle of influence.

Through social media, I was able to watch those children grow and see the many and various places that family went. Both of their children excelled in academics, faith events, sports and extra-curricular activities. In their faces you could see the different traits given to them by their dad and mom.  Did these things simply happen? Not a chance! God gave them their characteristics based on their parents and these parents with the obvious dedication to their faith, created this world of success for these two children.

The world in which we live offers various ways for children to be born and family structures vary in this day. Regardless if man has chosen to do things his own way, God is still the giver of life. Even if man takes into his hands different methods for birth, it is God who ultimately gives life and we must trust that He has our best interest at heart. The book of Romans explains any condition for which we find ourselves “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” When we think of various situations in the Bible of God’s grace, we know that Jochebed was the mother of Moses and yet Pharoes daughter raised him in the palace giving him royal training and influence. Moses would grow and learn important truths which God would later use in his life. (Exodus 2:1-10).

Hannah was the mother of Samuel and yet Samuel was raised in the temple by Eli, the priest. (1 Samuel 3:19).

In the life of Joseph where at a young age he was thrown in the pit by his own brothers and left to die but rather was rescued and became one of the highest in the land giving him favor, honor and position to be used of God for His glory. (Genesis 37).

Joseph’s love for his father was held in his heart and over time he was reunited with him.

Parents make the difference in the lives of their children. Not only do parents give their offspring strengths, weaknesses, character traits, physical features, work ethics and a foundation but also position in the community. Often that position is of a high position and sometimes of low position.

Even the most perfect of parents will pass negative traits a long to their own children because the human being is flawed from sin. The Bible says. “ I am jealous God visiting the iniquity of the other upon the children unto the 3rd and 4th generation. Exodus 34:6-7. So when a parent is disobedient, it results in a negative trait, and if prolonged it may fall to the children.

God’s purpose in parenting is that children will be raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Parents are to instill integrity in their children, teach them right from wrong and certainly give them a fear for God. Parents are equipped through God’s Word to teach life skills to their own and offer daily motivation for pursuing their dreams based on their God-given gifts and developed talents. Parents are the structure by which children find meaning in life through faith in God. They are ones to provide understanding of restraint from evil and to perseverance to do that which is good.

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