Becoming a new mommy is wonderful, terrifying, unreal, joyful, scary, overwhelming, rewarding, frustrating, empowering; just to name a few. You are told many times about your soon-to-be motherhood experience but until you hold that sweet-one in your arms there is no real understanding of it. I know now. The reality of motherhood just cannot be put into words.
In the hospital there are tons of visitors, pictures, hugs and offers for assistance. The special moment are felt throughout your circle, with flowers, social media posts, cards, texts, phone calls and face-to-face interaction. The reality truly hits when you return home. No 24/7 nurse station, zero cooked meals, no linen change services, and few visitors. All the hype has ended and you are feeling every bit of those sleepless nights.
Yes, in reality you make it though this alive but in the moment you may question your ability to carry on. Then you see that sweet thang’ crack a smile and you’re energized again.
One thing that has saved me is having a super-duper thoughtful mother. She is the gal that does without asking and to tell you the truth that works out just perfectly for a new mommy like me. When someone asks you “Can I”, your first instinct is to say “no” but like my mother said before “ask for forgiveness not permission” and so she did.
So, for the first 3 months, at least 2 times a week of my mamma brought a meal cooked or set up a crock pot for my new family of three. You can’t get much more thoughtful and helpful than that.
Many times I would say “Daniel will enjoy this”. Her reply each time was, “Do not give me the credit. You two just enjoy this meal. You can not neglect the hard working husband.” Mamma-always behind the scene and never looking for the spot light. Its quite unreal!
At about nine months, I felt like I really had the hang of things. There were so many occurrences where my family and friends did for me that I will never forget during those early months and I love them all the more for it.
Here are 10 great tips for anyone who wants to help new mommies during a sweet yet challenging time:
- Take a prepped crock pot meal: Make sure to confirm they have a crock pot or just carry yours.
- Take pictures of the couple holding that baby. Chances are they have pictures of the baby but not as a new family. They will truly appreciate a few candid family photos.
- Setup and organize a meal planning website: Get others on board to help them out for a few weeks. Place a mini refrigerator outside their door for easy drop off. This allows people to swing by and not feel like they have to stay but they are being helpful.
- Clean: Find out when their next doctors appointment is and schedule to come over during that time to straighten up. Put a load of laundry in, fold a load in the dryer, clean kitchen, bathrooms and dump the trash.
- Baby sit from the car: Offer to come pick up that new mommy and baby to run those quick errands. Offer to drop her off at the front door while you sit in the car with the baby. She can then feel comfortable not being to far away from that precious newborn and can quickly run in and out grabbing the things she needs.Or, ask if you can sit at home while she runs to the store, or salon.
Asking a new mommy what you can do to help is like asking a week old child to call you by name. They can not tell you even though they may want to. Its a tough job being a friend or family member of a new baby but it doesn’t last long. If you are a new mom reading this post, share it on your social media site so that maybe your friends can understand. If you are girlfriend or family member reading and know a new mommy, just act like you thought of all this on your own! And, just get forgiveness and not ask permission. It seems to work every time.
Hug and kiss those babies for me.
Katie Girl